Ninja Home Invasion
by melikeorange
Summary: What do you do when Naruto characters land in your grandparents bed and breakfast.Let me know when you find out, 'cause right now my friends are not helping the situation. Gawd my life is complicated. Rated M just in case.
1. Arrival

**Disclaimer...all rights and reserves go to Kishimoto-sama, and whatever**

* * *

Just any other summer Thursday, you know the lazy kind when you're by yourself in your house with your two dogs (Dobermans) due to family 'complications'; you know the kind when the school wants you to talk to the district shrink? Well it was one of those days...

I sighed there really was nothing for me to do other than watch re-runs of Disney XD fucking up the Naruto Shippuden series, or play Guitar Hero on my Wii...Nah

I decided to get on the computer instead, go on fan fiction. No one updated, so I went to you to watch the Naruto Abridged Series; the episode when Gaara takes on that Rain ninja in DDR that one is my favorite.

I was about to search Sora the Explorer when my dogs began to bark and crowd around the front door.

I was pretty irritated 'cause in the past when I'd answered the door it would always be my new neighbor  
Mr. Pattenade complaining about my dogs Roscoe, and Einstein barking so early in the morning. Once he came with an officer telling him my canines are disturbing the hell! I never got him, my dogs would only bark around the time he would leave his house. What was the big deal?

_If it is him I plan on shoving my foot up his ass_, shooing my dogs away forcing them back up stairs I answered the door but it wasn't him. At my door was...no one?

_Damn neighborhood kids...Gah! Now I'm starting to sound like him._

Slamming the door shut I stalked back to the computer, looking over to the time at the right hand corner _7:48 pm. There really isn't any reason for me to be awake, plus I have kick-boxing tomorrow...Bed time!_

As I shut down the computer I heard a crash from my garage, something told me it wasn't my dogs since I saw them making their way down the stairs once again growling in the process. Cautiously heading over to the area, I found myself leaning against the garage door.

Slowly creaking the door open my dogs behind me, I saw 9 people in black cloaks with scarlet cloud like shapes, it looked as though they were discussing something two of them were sitting on the hood of my car.

It took my mind a while to process what was happening.

...

...

...

...

My house has just been raided by a group of fucking Akatsuki cosplayers?

I stepped into my garage less cautious than I had approached.

"What the fuck are you people doing in my garage; sitting on my car"

The next thing I know I'm hanging upside down by my by foot, my hair nearly touching the floor with a kunai to my throat, thanks to 'Kakuzu', I'm not really worried about my top since I'm wearing a sports bra. My dogs come forward out of the darkness growling and showing their teeth, moving closer to the group. I see out of the corner of my eye 'Pein' twitch a bit, then suddenly I see my dogs being held by their tails by 'Zetsu', I hear my dogs whimper.

"Hey! Put them down you plant fucker!" the kunai moves closer to my throat, and I hear low chuckles in the background.

"..." he didn't move, they whimper louder. He jangles them like keys in his hands.

"Quiet. **Shut the hell up. **Damn dogs"

"Can't you see you're hurting them! Let them go, what kind of...oh damn..."

_This…this can't be happening, but...it is._

Right now, I'm helpless I hate feeling powerless, so I do the only thing I can think of.

Scream.

I feel the thread around my legs loosen, putting my hands between the floor and myself so I'm able to break my fall by catching myself I see my dogs now on all fours attacking their captor. Back-bending to my feet I run out the door closing it Roscoe and Einstein right behind me, running all the way to my dad's room for 'protection'.

"Bitch get your ass back here"

I closed the door silently.

"We only want to question you"

The voices were distant but I knew it would only take a short while for them to find me. Hurriedly I rummaged through the draws of my dad's bedroom, my dogs guarding the door, and I found them; his Benelli M3 and Mossberg 500 I took both just in case. It's good to be seventeen.

Quickly I hide under his bed. My dogs right beside me, and as if on cue the door swings open. Right now all I  
can see is just the robe of the Akatsuki, which doesn't really give me anything on who this is. I slow my breathing steadying my heart rate and silently wait for a voice or action of some kind.

"..." _Who are you?_

I then hear a grunt noise, the Akatsuki member gets closer to the bed and I feel Einstein shift next to me before he darts from under the bed followed by Roscoe. I then hear the other members shuffle into the room.

_Oh shit._

I roll from under the bed, opposite of the Akatsuki. My dogs _again _are being hung by their tails whimpering. It takes all my might not to go trigger happy on the plant man.

"Have you found her?"

"Yeah, where the hell is that bitch"

"Tobi wants to see pretty lady"

"...Yes" _Fuck._

Tucking the guns into the back of my basketball shorts I slowly rise from behind the bed, my hands up in surrender. As I'm standing I notice Pein's along with Itachi's eyes._ Holy shit, those are some awesome contacts!_

"Look, I don't want any trouble...I just want you people out my house"

"Why are we here?" What the hell!

"I should be asking you that!" All the calm is gone from my voice "Why in the fucking hell are you people in my house"

I don't notice Pein's eyes narrow. Again I'm being hung upside down by Kakuzu, un-noticed I get the guns from my 'secret compartment', and hold them against Kakuzu's stomach area.

"Let me go!"

"Or what? What are you going to do little bitch" Hidan gets in my face about it and here I am stuck in the same situation _again_.

I point a gun aiming for his heart.

This isn't happening. This should not be happening!

Don't shoot they're not who you think they are!

Don't shoot.

Don't shoot.

I don't know why but something inside me tells otherwise...

I squeeze the trigger.

* * *

"I can't believe that just happened, that this is actually happening" Here I am sitting on my couch across  
from Itachi Pein and Konan sitting next to Tobi, and Deidara

"Please. If you could, stay focused" asked Konan

"Damn. This shit is fucked up"

"What's wrong?"

"It's just...I'll actually have a reason to talk to the district shrink now"

"Do you have a mental disability, un?"

I looked over to Deidara "No. It's just the schools way of trying to help, but they're failing"

Kisame came from behind the couch "Trying to help?"

"Can we get back on topic"

"Yes, she is correct."

"So. What was your question?"

"What-" Before he could finish he was interrupted by Deidara ~UN UN UN~ the personal ringtone for my friend Naomi

I mouthed a 'sorry' "Hello?"

_"Shauna you bitch! Why the hell are you still up?"_

"Hi Naomi"

_"Got that right slut" _She was slurring her words

"You're drunk"

_"Damn straight, and I is coming over so best be prepped"_

"What! No, you can't come over!"

_"Why the h-hell not you whore!"_

"I-Uh…I'm busy… "

_"We gonna have a sleep over-No! She wants to talk to me, not you! Go aw-Shauna you still there?''_

''Leilani, what the fuck is going on?'' At least she was sober.

_''I thought it was pretty obvious''_

"Leah had a party''

_"Yup, oh and we're coming over"_

"What! Y-You can't"

_''Sorry we're already twenty minutes away~. Oh yeah did I mention Jeannie and Kaila are coming too..."_

"You bitch! Hello? Leilani...Leilani!" I hung up the phone, and sighed in defeat.

Looking around I noticed some of the stares I was getting.

"What!"

Pein spoke first "Let us continue our conversation. What is our location?"

"Earth."

"..." Pein tapped his fingers rhythmically on the coffee table.

"North America, the United States of America." I sighed "More specifically: Georgia."

"Do you own a map of our location?"

"Uh-huh" I reached into the bottom drawer of the coffee table and got out two maps. One was a state map, the other showed the U.S. and when flipped over showed a world map.

Sitting cross legged on the floor, I unfolded the maps in the process. As I sat smoothing out the maps, I noticed I was the only one on the floor. _Pft, whatever..._

"Okay, so we're here" I said pointing my index finger at a word that read; Atlanta.

At first I didn't notice but a person tends to grow curious when all of them are silent, especially huddled together in a circular fashion like they are now.

Unfortunately it wasn't me who broke the silence. It was a car horn.

"Please. No."

Uncrossing my legs, I walked to the window peering out through the curtain. _OH GAWD!_

There's only one person I know who drives a 2007 Metallic Black Ford Mustang GT/CS with Orange racing stripes and rims.

That only meant one thing.

"They're here"


	2. Guest

**I know since there are a lot of these stories on here mine may seem a bit (or a lot) un-original but it'll get better just give me time!**

* * *

While I stood looking through the window I hadn't noticed Pein come up behind me. He cleared his throat.

"Gah!" I said as I jerked up from my thoughts

"Who's here?"

"My friends are here"

"Your, friends"

_That's what I just said isn't it _"Yeah"

"And what reason would they have to be here?"

I looked back out the window and saw Jeannie and Naomi struggling to get Leilani to get out the car while Kaila sat on the ground picking at my grass "Well judging from the way Kaila is acting Leilani isn't the only one who got drunk" I sighed "Plus they live a pretty good distance from here so I can't blame them for coming here"

My friends aren't exactly the best in the world, but I can't say they're the worst either. To put it in a way that describes them; Leilani and Kaila act more like sisters than her and Naomi, especially when they're drunk. Naomi and Jeannie have more common sense but they have their moments. In fact if I had to put them all in one category they would be a sorority girls hooked on anime and manga, with a thing for sports, and video games. But if you hadn't noticed they have their flaws, even I have the same weakness, I guess that's why we all get along so well.

My thoughts were diminished as I heard my cell phone go off.

_I__ feel irrational_

_So confrontational_

_To tell the truth I am getting away with murder_

_It is impossible to never tell the truth_

_But the reality_

_Is I'm getting away with murder_

_Getting away, getting-_

"Hello?"

_"Open the door"_

"You guys have a key remember"

_'Yeah but Ms. Drunken-corruption lost it at Leah's party"_

I sighed. "Okay but come to the back door"

_"Alright bye"_

"Shauna!" _J-Jeannie_

"Huh?" I turn away from Pein-or what I thought was him-to see my friend Jeannie with Kaila on her back walk into my living room

_Oh shit!_

"Hey"

"So why exactly why didn't you want us to come you don't seem that busy to me"

"I-uh, thought that my brother made parole"

"Oh"

There were a few minutes of silence so I took advantage and turned slowly around. No ones there _Thank Jashin they're ninja's and not pirates._

Jeannie comes around to face me "What are you looking at?"

"Oh its nothing, but what I'd like to know is how you got in my house:"

"The garage door was open" _Of course it was_

"Oh okay" I looked behind Jeannie "Where are the twins?" (Lelani and Naomi)

"Lani put Naomi in your room"

"…Alright, that's good"

"I'll just put Kaila on the couch for now"

As she did so, I took the liberty of staying in the room with Kaila, while Jeannie went into the kitchen to make her something to eat. I sat down on the arm couch watching Kaila sleep, after a short twenty minutes my eye lids started got heavy.

_I'll just rest my eyes for minute or two..._

And before I knew it I was dreaming about the new Team Kakashi and Team Hebi or Taka, or whatever they go by now_  
_

* * *

I woke up discovering i had slid off the arm of the chair and onto the couch, my legs now dangling off the arm, and my head buried within the cushions I looked at the clock above the fire place, it was seventeen minutes after four. Was it all just a dream?

"Psst. Shauna?"

"Yeah what is it" It was Kaila. Nope don't think it was a dream sense she's still here.

"When'd you get that Zetsu statue?" It definitely wasn't a dream.

"Huh!" I bolted upright and found a kunia being pressed to my throat.

"Yeah! Did you have a cosplay party without us"

"Lelani? Is that you?"

"Yep, and why are they threatening us?"

I turned my head (or atleast tried to) without slitting my neck" _OHMYGAWD!_

Why did all of the bad people have to come first...I sighed. This definitely isn't a dream its more of a nightmare.

* * *

**Oh no! Who could it be? We will (soon) find out**.

**Poor, poor Shauna, Naomi, Lelani, Kaila, and Jeannie...**


End file.
